Call off the Spiritual Search...

...You already are what you seek
I have been on a spiritual path since my teenage years. From early on I knew there was a difference between being religious and being spiritual and I chose the latter. I had no idea what it meant or might involve. It took the form of a search mostly through Buddhism which I studied and practiced for many years. Then I went to India. When I came back, I didn't know what to do next. I had gone as far as I could with Buddhism. Pondering this one morning in my flat, I had a strong intuition about "giving up everything." Because of my many years as a "searcher" and my comfort level reading spiritual books and attending spiritual conferences, this was the last thing I wanted to do.

Parc de Chatelet, Paris - May 2013

The spiritual path is different from the religious path because there is no authority on the spiritual. You are your own authority, or more specifically, you must learn to recognize the still, small voice within; it is the only guide on the spiritual journey. So when my still, small voice instructed me to give up everything, I listened. I have some reservations about referring to a "voice talking to me" because of the association of hearing voices with a particular form of mental illness, but I must be true and authentic to what happened. So I listened, obeyed, and gave up the "search."

Then a few months later, I had the first of two experiences of energy rising from the base of the spine. This totally unexpected and unprepared (consciously) event turned my attention from things external to what lies within and that became my search. I now realize that searching for the source of an experience and getting hooked takes me away from the real goal which is the realization of self as THAT which was, prior to the "search."

I also see that a "search" is only purification. My time spent studying and practicing Buddhism wasn’t a search; it was purification of karma so I could take responsibility for everything that had happened to me. Training to teach Kundalini yoga was also a purification. The early morning intensive, eight day retreat — starting the day at 3:30am and ending at 11pm each night — wasn’t a search; it was a purification. Purification included anything standing between me and the realization of THAT.

Parc de Chatelet, Paris - May 2013

To see it as a search is to deny that we already are. We already are THAT and there’s stuff in the way that stops us from realizing THAT. Experiences are only pointers to THAT, they are not IT. So to search, which is very much what the ego wants to do, only serves to maintain the illusion of separation. There is no separation. We are already THAT which we are searching for, so all we need to do is watch how the mind wants to take us away from IT. Ultimately, it is all so simple. That is why enlightenment has always and ever will be heralded by laughter...the ultimate joke...searching to be THAT which we already are.

Kundalini provides an awareness that if we learn to observe the inner landscape, this "witness mentality" gradually allows us to realize that we are not separate from that which we seek.