My wife's face is beautiful. When I look at her face, I glimpse a quality that I can't register, let alone grasp, not even when we make love. This quality can't be seen, touched, smelled, tasted, weighed. This beauty is hers, yet she possesses it as little as I do. It's deeply attractive, and yet seems to be as much outside her as it's inside her.
When it first awoke in me, Kundalini seemed an impersonal force, like electricity, a stinging sensation in my spine, intense heat round my coccyx and in the back of my neck, and a painful prickling in my face. There were internal tearing noises like a plaster (bandage) being pulled off, cracking sounds in my head. All this was impersonal, inhuman. It was simply happening.
Gradually, however, I began to realize that this energy isn't impersonal at all — it's female. Kundalini is a She. It was an unsettling realization. How can something so metabolic have a gender? How can a force working at a cellular level feel so undeniably female? How can this stinging and heat and these internal noises be female? Up till that point female had meant simply the other half of the human race. Female couldn't possibly be something working inside and through me, sometimes overwhelming my sense of my own masculinity.
The idea that contact with another person can bring us into the presence of a cosmic being is shocking. And yet the experience of glimpsing in another's face is a quality that can't be registered is common. Every couple has experienced this beauty that is both inside and outside them, that can't be seen, touched, smelled, tasted, weighed, and yet at some deep level still has gender — and it's female.
Because Kundalini first activated in me suddenly and unexpectedly, during a sexual encounter, the movement of energy up my spine into my brain was rapid and overwhelming. It got out of control. My mind veered from fantasy to reality and back again. My male brain found it hard to cope with this influx of the inexplicably female. Kundalini pierced the seven chakras — they remain vivid inside me — but the movement from the base of the spine to the brain happened in a rush that blurred them. Looking back on it, I think there was some deep-seated fear of what each chakra might contain.
Gradually, I learned how to keep still, to wait — or "reside" — in each chakra as it opened out and unfolded. What the chakras revealed was strange: the sense of the female became more, not less, intense. And the feminine quality of Kundalini was articulated differently in each chakra. Her presence changed from chakra to chakra. At the base of the spine, She was one female Being, in the genital chakra another, and so on up. The chakras are gear changes in the sound frequencies and light waves from which the body is ultimately formed. As Kundalini ascends the spine, the frequencies get higher and more rapid, but because energy is transmitted in quanta, or discrete "packets," each change in frequency has its own separate quality.
These qualities are female. The seven Goddesses referred to in the Sat-Cakra-Nirupana are a reality. Kundalini is one Being at the base of the spine, and another Being in the genitals, and another in the belly, and in the heart, throat and brain. If one can discern the differences, their different "faces," one can get closer to the ultimate stillness to which they respond.
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| Author Paul Lyons and wife, Kanlayanee |
When it first awoke in me, Kundalini seemed an impersonal force, like electricity, a stinging sensation in my spine, intense heat round my coccyx and in the back of my neck, and a painful prickling in my face. There were internal tearing noises like a plaster (bandage) being pulled off, cracking sounds in my head. All this was impersonal, inhuman. It was simply happening.
The idea that contact with another person can bring us into the presence of a cosmic being is shocking. And yet the experience of glimpsing in another's face is a quality that can't be registered is common. Every couple has experienced this beauty that is both inside and outside them, that can't be seen, touched, smelled, tasted, weighed, and yet at some deep level still has gender — and it's female.
Because Kundalini first activated in me suddenly and unexpectedly, during a sexual encounter, the movement of energy up my spine into my brain was rapid and overwhelming. It got out of control. My mind veered from fantasy to reality and back again. My male brain found it hard to cope with this influx of the inexplicably female. Kundalini pierced the seven chakras — they remain vivid inside me — but the movement from the base of the spine to the brain happened in a rush that blurred them. Looking back on it, I think there was some deep-seated fear of what each chakra might contain.
Gradually, I learned how to keep still, to wait — or "reside" — in each chakra as it opened out and unfolded. What the chakras revealed was strange: the sense of the female became more, not less, intense. And the feminine quality of Kundalini was articulated differently in each chakra. Her presence changed from chakra to chakra. At the base of the spine, She was one female Being, in the genital chakra another, and so on up. The chakras are gear changes in the sound frequencies and light waves from which the body is ultimately formed. As Kundalini ascends the spine, the frequencies get higher and more rapid, but because energy is transmitted in quanta, or discrete "packets," each change in frequency has its own separate quality.
These qualities are female. The seven Goddesses referred to in the Sat-Cakra-Nirupana are a reality. Kundalini is one Being at the base of the spine, and another Being in the genitals, and another in the belly, and in the heart, throat and brain. If one can discern the differences, their different "faces," one can get closer to the ultimate stillness to which they respond.
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