Kundalini And The True Self

"We spend the first half of our life becoming 'special.' That’s part of the journey, part of our development. But in the second half of life, or when our journey of spiritual growth becomes apparent, being 'nobody special' allows us to become all that we can be. It’s the ingredient and paradox that gets our sense of self, alone and in relationship with others, out of the way so our 'True Self' can emerge. And it is a relief in every present moment to give up roles of who we think we are and instead just be."
~Article from Kundalini Rising – Barbara Harris Whitfield

In my reading during the past few weeks from my “kundalini” references, I've discovered many articles and postings relating to the “ego,” the danger of ego inflation during the kundalini process, and the power of the healing that comes through an observing ego practice. Since the kundalini transformation process, from my experience, is a renovation of our subtle body system of which the ego is a part, this is certainly a subject of which we should be familiar.

It seems to me that key to the avoidance of ego inflation is the virtue of humility, a quality that is emphasized in all the major religions of the world. I’ve recently read that humility means: “Not” thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. This definition speaks so vividly of the purpose for daily meditation.

Meditation practice itself is a discipline of setting aside or passing by the “ego self” with all of its constructs, boundaries, defence mechanisms, and conditioning from past experiences, and entering the deep silence that exists at the centre of our being. Through my years of meditation, I've found this discipline to be foundational to my time of prayer and spiritual life. Barbara Whitfield describes the twelve characteristics of humility as: being open, an attitude of “don’t know," curiosity, innocence, a childlike nature, spontaneity, spirituality, tolerance, patience, integrity, detachment, and letting go, all of which lead to inner peace, a sense of gratitude and being “nobody special.” All of these words speak of the experience of meditation with its ecstatic surrender to the deep inner silence that exists at the centre of our being, a centre which many, including Barbara, refer to as the “True Self."

Kundalini rising is very different from the meditation experience. In the Kundalini transformation experience, the "ego self" is not temporarily passed by; it is renovated. The boundaries, constructs, defense mechanisms and cultural conditioning created by past life experiences are dismantled. It’s as if the old world views have collapsed, and we are left initially with a sense of no longer knowing who we are. I've described this experience previously as follows:

"Kundalini rising has left me with an absence of what I call “self-definition.” The ways I defined myself in the past, my self-concept, seemed to be gone. This not only relates to the way I use to see myself in respect to my work, but also in respect to church. My memory continued to be there in respect to all of these things, but I do not have an emotional connection with them in the same way. They seemed to have crumbled away along with the sub-conscious visions of crumbling trucks, buildings, earth, churches and crosses. Even my previous affective memories and concepts of God have collapsed, and there only remains the undefined, mysterious, expansive “Other,” beyond description and name."

I believe that in the restoration phase that is to follow this process of renovation, we must heed the message of the mystics and rebuild the new house, not following the directions of ego consciousness, but the humility of the “True Self.”

Buddhists call it the Bodhisattva Attitudes; Christians call it the Beatitudes. Both mean dedicating your life to others in the way you can enjoy everyday.