On Becoming Self-Aware: A Mexican-American's Journey

Spirituality and the magical realm of spirits, both animate and inanimate, are as a big part of Mexican culture as tortillas. Yet, when it comes to self-awareness and higher consciousness, there’s a big gap in knowledge and wisdom among many Mexicans. My painstaking journey led me to this conclusion. As a first generation Mexican-American, I reflect on the imbalanced state of the world, and it’s clear to me that the indigenous peoples’ way of life is in accordance with the rightful direction of human evolution and, by extension, with the phenomenon that drives evolution — Kundalini. And yet, so few of us understand this relationship, much less choose to take an active role in realizing it.

Tribal Living
Mexicans do everything as a community (tribe). My cousins lived behind us and all the kids in the street came out to play. My tribe of family and friends were accessible to me daily. Family gatherings on weekends were a given and vacations were always with others. I knew I was safe and protected by my tribe. Because of this my childhood was blessed with much beauty and love. My tribe fulfilled my physiological needs, safety, and belonging which allowed my self-esteem to flourish.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Love and Belonging
My happiness wasn’t just a result of being surrounded by my tribe; it was the way our tribe interacted with others, complete strangers, and those in need. It wasn’t uncommon to have immigrants knocking on our door (which was always open) asking for money or food. They would tell us their crossing the border story and their reasons for attempting it: to work in the USA and earn money to send home. My mom invited them in and shared her homemade Mexican food with them, because of this, I don’t fear people in need. My father’s generosity was equal to my mother’s kindness. He was (and still is) the chief of the family and paid for all of us to enjoy life (including my cousins). Their noble qualities inspired me. 

Self-Actualization
No wonder I easily tapped into the beauty of the world within. I had a deep connection and oneness to “Source” and the spirit world. I had psychic abilities that allowed me to connect with the spirit world. Intuitive insights came daily. I felt tingling in my body; states of bliss and joy came easy. I felt an urge to be virtuous and honest. I trusted deeply in life, no matter the situation I found myself in.
This awareness did not last. My environment changed as well as my family dynamics.

Environment
With time, the neighborhood began to get “more” dangerous and I began to be afraid, but I still felt a deep sense of safety. I learned to run or hide when I needed to. During this time my parents divorced, I was 13. My whole world was shattered because my tribe had ceased to exist. A miasma of suffering and anger took over; I became an atheist. I moved around eight times until I got married at 24.

Moving around with my mom (who hadn’t worked before) made me notice that our homes were located near highways, factories, gas stations, on big streets, etc. in other words, environmentally unhealthy areas. Finding minorities living in poor environmental conditions is quite common. The psychological and physical effects of being in close proximity to these toxic environments are detrimental to the people.

Little is being done to rectify these inequities. The stressors of unhealthy diets, negative mental states, and anti-social behaviors stem from a lack of education, self-esteem, and well-paying jobs. Lack of awareness fuels most of the ignorance in poor communities.

Knowledge is Power
When I learned about globalization and what the USA does to “poor, undeveloped, third-world countries,” I realized that same pattern of oppression was being used to shape my environment. I understood that “free-trade” for the USA meant coercing other countries by using our power and weapons to take over those countries’ resources to the detriment of the local people.

“My job (as economic hit man), said my instructor, was ‘to encourage world leaders to become part of a vast network that promotes US commercial interests. In the end, those leaders become ensnared in a web of debt that ensures their loyalty. We can draw on them whenever we desire — to satisfy our political, economic, or military needs. In turn, they bolster their political positions by bringing industrial parks, power plants, and airports to their people. The owners of US engineering/construction companies become fabulously wealthy.’ 

“If we faltered, a more malicious form of hit man, the jackal (CIA), would step to the plate. And if the jackals failed, then the job fell to the military.”

Excerpt From: The New Confessions of an Economic Hit Man. ~ John Perkins. Apple Books.

I understood that this was accepted because of religious and racist beliefs. These beliefs hold little awareness of our true purpose and are actually an expression of an overweening ego trip. A force that relies on economic hegemony and superior weapons to dominate those who are not like us or do not share our beliefs creates a false sense of purpose. We have only to look around to comprehend the depths of our moral collapse.

I felt the anger and rage of being oppressed and the lack of self-knowledge and self-esteem that comes with it. I believe this is why there is so much violence in poor communities. Yet I deeply feel that life does not have to be this way. I still do. So, in an effort to change this, I joined political clubs at school. That’s where I met my husband who told me that politics is not what’s going to end the suffering in the world — that only a mass movement to higher consciousness through its biological agent, kundalini, will.

I had no idea what he meant. Slowly, with time and lots of questions, I began to work on myself. I did a lot of inner healing, I stopped blaming religion, I stopped blaming the government, I stopped blaming my family, and I stopped blaming the world outside of me. Through the practice of releasing, forgiving others (especially myself), appreciation and gratitude for the little things, cultivating humility, meditating, practicing kindness and love, my awareness and perceptions began to change. Because of my practice, I began to have the courage to speak, to dance, to sing, to love, and to be seen. My connection to “Source” returned; I understood that kundalini is an evolutionary phenomenon that changes you biologically. Its goal is to make you a better person through its connection to “Source,” i.e., higher consciousness.

“The aim of the evolutionary impulse that is active in the race is to mold the human brain and nervous system to a state of perception where the invisible world of intelligent cosmic forces can be cognizable to every human being.”

~ Higher Consciousness and Kundalini – Gopi Krishna

Now, when I look at the world, with its poverty, suffering, hate, ignorance and the negativity that comes with it, I realize that a lack of self-awareness had created these conditions. On the other hand, compassion and altruism are highly correlated to mental well-being and higher consciousness. Preliminary research findings from The Emerging Sciences Foundation and Stanford Medicine’s “The Center For Compassion And Altruism Research And Education” have done research in this area.

We see these noble qualities expressed by the founders of the major religions, because they provide guidance on our thoughts and deeds. This is why even with our advanced scientific tools, religion still grips the masses.

We are the true creators of our own reality, what we think and believe we manifest! This is how we influence each other and the world around us. The current state of the world is a manifestation that prioritizes the economy before our own health and the Earth. This, I believe, creates and promotes fear, materialism, dogma, fundamentalism, and hateful attitudes towards others.

A Simpler Lifestyle
True fulfillment comes from blending in with nature, celebrating life together, while becoming self-aware. Many people who undergo a Kundalini awakening understand this. Once in a state of Higher Consciousness, Gopi Krishna said that we need to “return to the field and farm.”

In his letter to a friend in 1753, Benjamin Franklin, one of the The Founding Fathers of America, shared an interesting problem encountered by the English settlers who were taken captive by the Natives:

“Tho’ ransomed by their friends, and treated with all imaginable tenderness to prevail with them to stay among the English, yet in a short time they become disgusted with our manner of life…and take the first good opportunity of escaping again into the woods”

~ Junger, Sebastian. Tribe, Twelve, 2016.

All of humanity is undergoing a process of self-awareness one way or another, driven by what Gopi Krishna called the evolutionary impulse. Nature is asking us to reconnect, to balance, and to evolve. I don’t know all of the answers. I do know that our current lifestyles, fueled by consumption and by putting the economy before our physical and mental health, contribute mightily to the current, sad state of the world.